The opposite of Love is………….

Broken Heart.jpg

The opposite of Love is………….

Most recently I was devastated to learn about a situation that had happened to a very close friend of mine dealing with his marriage. For the sake of anonymity, I will call him Ryan. Now Ryan was like most guys I know, he was very heartfelt and always tried to please everyone most of the time – especially his wife.

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But seriously, most guys are the same with the difference being home training and life experiences. During their separate lives they have had to overcome many obstacles including previous marriages and as most of you know, this in itself will change a person – for better or worse – it does change you. There have been challenges in their marriage yes but from what most could tell, they have been fairly routine things that most couples encounter during their time together. The main issues that I have seen over the years with people most often deal with Money and Finances. Each person wants to feel independent in their personality but in reality, they are joined as one, therefore they must function as one. It’s a hard concept to grasp but if you get it right, it is so worth it – One completes the Other.

Recently I was told by Ryan that he and his wife were going through a rough patch in where they just seemed to be co-existing together and not really connected anymore. Ryan said that life had wiggled its way in between them and they had begun to be at odds with each other. During one evening, they had gotten into a very heated argument which led to some pretty harsh words, said by both parties, when all of a sudden his wife spews out “I F*@king Hate You”. Well apparently that seemed to have immediately stopped the whole argument and from what it seems, the whole conversation. Ryan said he just froze in his tracks while his wife simply walked away. Ryan said that this was something that he never thought he would hear from her. During their time together, she had never said evil or hurtful things to him in such a manner nor was it customary between them to carry a grudge or harbor ill feelings for any length of time beyond the scope of a normal argument – but this was no ordinary argument. This was something much worse.

Being truly devastated by her words, Ryan felt that his marriage was over and that she did not love him anymore. He wondered how he could have let it get so bad in the first place and where was he going to go from here. In doing some research (because I did not have an answer to help him), I found that in the normal comparison of emotions, LOVE is the opposite of HATE as most would think. But if you actually mean opposite (the most reversed factors possible) then I would have to say it was indifference. In both love and hate, you care about whoever or whatever you are loving or hating at the time (although in different ways). Ex. You love a person. You hear that something awful happened to them. You’d want to know more, right? If you hated that person (and I mean actually HATE, not just dislike), you’d also want to know more about what happened to them. Additionally, love relationships break apart because of indifference much more often than hate. (“You don’t care about me at all!”) If you actually hated somebody, you wouldn’t be together with them. Hate is the opposite of love. Hate is a feeling of anger, rage and violence. I read that Hate comes along with love. Actually, without hate there is no love. They are two sides of the same coin.

            What is the opposite of Hate? – The answer is not Love?  Regardless of what a thesaurus might say, the true opposite of Love is – Indifference, which is the direct opposite of caring or feeling for someone or something. Hate cannot be the opposite of Love because like love, hate means that you care and have strong feelings towards another. Whether the feelings are positive or negative is subjective and arguably superficial. I realize that there has been so much back and forth on the whole love / hate thing – indifference, selflessness, apathy, intolerance and fear. The best article that I had found on this topic was at www.keen.com in an article entitled “Hate is NOT the Opposite of Love”.

So – I will add this to finish my article. Whether Love is Hate or Hate is Love – either way it is real and it is something that must be dealt with very quickly before it is able to spread like a wildfire causing unrepairable damage to the very foundation. Say what you will about this but if we would talk to God and ask him for guidance in our personal affairs, there would not be so much unresolved circumstances in this world because when He speaks – Peace, Be Still – all will cease and there will be a great calm.

My heart goes out to all those couples affected by this type of the Devils’ Treachery and my sincere hope is that you find peace soon and resolve your indifference. May God Bless each and every one of you.

>Tug

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