Our First Neighbor – Joyce Frisbie

Our first Neighbor – Joyce Frisbie

When we first moved into Mustian Forest (the name of our private little Subdivision), there lived across the street, a small family consisting of a lovely Lady named Joyce, her husband Lawrence and their Grandson Latif. It didn’t take us long to become very fond of Joyce and her family, in fact whenever we would go out or run into town, we would ask Joyce if they needed anything. Joyce and Lawrence were originally from Philadelphia, PA and had Northern tendencies but with a Southern twist. If that makes any sense.

Joyce and Lawrence had an older son Terry who lived in Hawaii but when Lawrence got sick and eventually passed away from complications from Dementia, Terry flew in from Hawaii, moved in with his Mom and did his very best to take care of and provide for her and Latif. During the time that Terry was here, he started working at a radio station in Henderson as a D.J/Radio Host. Due to the fact that Terry had flown in, he did not have a vehicle readily available so for that year that he was here, I had lent him my Pickup. No charge, no fee, just me dong a neighborly good deed. My Wife and I had another car and most of the time that truck just stayed in the yard anyway.  We learned that Terry had served in the Military as a Marine and had very strong morals and beliefs –

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he was definitely “Raised” right and then learned early on – the rigorous discipline and patriotism that the Marines would instill in him. Once he got his Mother situated, Terry had to leave and get back to his life in Hawaii. We still keep up with him on Social Media and love hearing his insights as to the island life and of course all of the beautiful photographs.

Now Latif was another story, he was this skinny spindly little kid who always had a huge infections smile on his face. I have never – to this day – seen him frown. He was always running, jumping, moving and shaking. Always full of energy and ready to go at a moment’s notice. After our daughter Ivy was born, Latif would come over more frequently and play with Ivy, Ozzy and our oldest son Matthew. Latif had this way with babies that’s for sure. Ivy would squeal when she saw him and her eyes would light up and Latif just loved holding her and making her laugh. We shared many laughs, conversations, meals and memories with Latif.

Now Joyce, being the protective Grandmother that she was, ALWAYS wanted to know where he was and what he was doing. She would call over to our house to make sure that he was behaving, not getting into any mischief and not bothering us. You know – doing what any responsible “parent” would/should do. Some days we would see Latif walking or playing out in his own front yard just looking over at our house like he was bored and wanted to be over there playing. Sandy would call over and ask Joyce if he could come over and of course she said yes and would let him but she had rules and she wanted him raised so that he would not expect that he could just come over any time that he wanted to and she wanted him to understand the principles of privacy and what it meant to impose on others. Joyce was a very loving and mindful guardian; she was one to always look out for others and had a strong religious background. On those occasions that we had to run into town, we would oftentimes take Latif with us – I mean he was already over at our house anyways. I still say to this day that Joyce, Latif and their family were the perfect neighbors in every aspect. Loyal, Trustworthy, Cheerful, Reverent, and a host of other adjectives that one could use to describe someone of their caliber.

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Now Joyce and Lawrence were Jehovah’s Witnesses and strongly believed in their teachings and their faith. Joyce tried her best to instill those values in Latif as well and he fought it as any kid his age would do. Now let me interject with this – I know many people dislike the Jehovah’s Witnesses and try their best to avoid them at all costs but I am here to say that they are one of the only Religious Groups that actually does what the Bible instructs them to do and that is to go out into the world and witness to others. Now sure, I do not share the same beliefs as they do but I do not condemn them for it either. Yes I am a Christian, Yes I believe in God and yes I love the Pentecostal Experiences that I have had in my faith but Joyce, Lawrence and the family are Americans, they have their rights to believe what they want and that does not make them any less of a person than me or you. There were days that we would notice that their religious family would come over and congregate, share meals, work on the house, visit and socialize. They had invited us over a few times and they were always very respectful, open and friendly. We have had Witnesses over to our house in the past and I will always be kind and courteous to them even thought I do not believe their teachings – they are people too.

We became very fond of Joyce and her family and still try to remain in contact as much as we can through email, social media and occasionally in person. Joyce has since moved out of the subdivision and into a more suitable location for her. Terry had moved back to Hawaii and Latif had grown up and moved to Hawaii with his Uncle Terry who by the way is still doing Radio shows. Latif – now the Account Manager for Nightlife Oahu has grown into a very popular D.J hosting and brokering Gigs for several Hawaiian Hotspots and just in general has really made a name for himself and doing quite well I might add. He had started as a sous chef for a popular Hotel there on the main island when he first got there but has since moved up in his career – he still loves to cook from what we understand but he loves his nightlife and the entertainment business even more.

 

We are so very proud and blessed to have met these fine people. We will forever remember the values and relationship that we had with this family and there will always be a special place in our hearts for them. One day if we ever make it to Hawaii – we will be sure to look up and visit with Terry and Latif. Until then – may God always have His hand upon them.

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Oh, did I mention that this wonderful loving caring family also happens to be Black – People of Color – American People with African Heritage, not that it matters to me at all but it appears to me that a lot of people in this day and age this fact alone should in some way make a difference. Well to those people I have to say – No – It Does Not Make a Difference. This article should serve as some sort of guide to everyone that we should look and live past color. Just because your families were Moonshiners or Bank Robbers bank in the day, doesn’t make you one. By the same token – it doesn’t make all white people slave owners or supporters or all black people slaves or victims of slavery. There is so much hatred, racism and discord in the world today and we as a Nation need to get over it. We need to come together and like I have been preaching for the last few years, this is now the Human Race – nothing more – nothing less!!!  God Bless Us All…….

Latif Johnson    Terry and Joyce2   Thank-you

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Don’t Tread On Me !

Gadsden’s flag……

Dont tread on me

Don’t Tread on Me – What It Means Today

Don’t Tread on Me is a very strong statement in the United States with very deep historical roots. The phrase was written under the image of a rattle snake and emblazoned on a yellow flag. This is known as the Gadsden flag and falls within the historical flags of America.

What Does It Mean?

The symbolism in the flag partnered by the image holds deep meaning. Basically, the “Don’t Tread on Me” phrase combined with the snake ready to strike is a warning. This tells people not to step on or take advantage of the Americans or they will strike.

The use of the snake or more specifically the rattlesnake did not happen by chance. The fact is that the eastern diamondback rattlesnake and the timber rattlesnake were both fairly abundant within the colonies. In a satirical article, Benjamin Franklin suggested that the Americas send rattlesnakes to Britain as a response to their sending of convicted criminals to the colonies.

Development of the Flag

The Gadsden flag was created by Christopher Gadsden who was an American statesman and general. Currently, there are several variations of this flag but the message remains the same. Following are some of the minor changes that may be found for the Gadsden flag.

  • The typeface can either be serif of sans-serif.
  • The word “Don’t” may be written with or without the apostrophe.
  • The earliest versions of the flag show that the rattlesnake is facing to the left. However, some versions today show that the snake is facing the right.
  • Most representations of the flag dating from 1887 to 1917 show a completely yellow background where the snake is resting. A recent addition however, is the green grass beneath the snake.
  • Some parts of the United States today have declared the flag unsavory with some uncomforted reports about arrests on people who have the flag on display. Fair recently, the city of New Rochelle, New York have actually removed the flag from their military armory. The reasoning was that the flag is often used by the tea party movement.

Uses of the Flag

Upon development, the flag was used by various groups within America. The Continental Marines is one of the most popular groups that used this flag, unfurling it side by side with the Moultrie flag. The United States Navy also utilized an earlier version of the flag.

The first use of this flag however, was by Commodore Esek Hopkins. He was the first Commander in Chief for the New Continental Fleet. His ships sailed for the first time in year 1776 on the month of February. It was then showed by Colonel Christopher Gadsden to the Continental Congress.

Today, the flag is being used by the Tea Party Movement – which is why the symbol is currently getting some bad reputation. Still, the rattlesnake is still a powerful image and is actually being used by Nike in support of the US national soccer team for the males. Even the band Metallica has recorded a song entitled “Don’t Tread on Me.”

Why Is This Important?

The “Don’t Tread on Me” flag is a very important representation of American history. Nowadays, the United States is proud about its freedom – sometimes even stating that it is the freest country in the world. The Gadsden flag however, represents the time when America is in the process of fighting for its freedom. Therefore, it is a wonderful symbol of the country’s strength and willpower- leading it to become the world leader it is today. Young Americans will do well to know the impact and underlying meaning of this flag to their history.

Something to chew on…………….

Your Rights during a Traffic Stop

serve and protect

We rely on the police to keep us safe and treat us all fairly, regardless of race, ethnicity, national origin or religion. This information provides tips for interacting with police and understanding your rights and is excerpted in part by the ACLU – American Civil Liberties Union, the Raleigh Police Department and various other sources.

Driving is a Privilege, Not a Right

Driving is not a constitutional right. You get your drivers’ license based on the skills you have and the rules you agree to follow. After you get your drivers’ license you must continue to demonstrate your ability to drive safely on the road. If you fail to demonstrate this ability, you will be issued traffic tickets, or even have your license suspended or revoked. No one has more right to the road than anyone else. If you’re going to drive, you owe it to the other roadway users and yourself to operate the vehicle in a safe manner.

During my career in Law Enforcement, I have had many opportunities to encounter civilians during “routine” traffic stops – enough to know that there is NO SUCH THING AS A ROUTINE TRAFFIC STOP! Every person is different, every circumstance is different and every story is different. The cars and the locations are the only part of the whole scenario that hardly ever changes. Here are a few basic Rights that you, as a civilian, have when dealing with Law Enforcement during a traffic stop. These tips are not to be construed or used as Legal Advice. Do your own research and use accordingly.

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There’s no magic word, handshake or gesture to get you “off the hook”. Every LEO (Law Enforcement Officer) is different and each Officer has their own way of doing things (within the law). What you must remember is that LEO’s are human beings – they are people just like me and you and they are all subject to peer pressure, mood swings, bad days, good days, etc. Most of the time their interactions with you are strictly business and you should not take it personally. They have a job to do – just like you when you go to work. They have supervisors who tell them what to do and give them parameters to work within – who also give them grief during the day and push for performance.

Now with that being said – there is a lot that can go wrong during one of these encounters regardless of whether you are guilty or not.

Most traffic encounters can be stressful, but everyone involved (even the Officer) all want the same thing – they want to get through it as quickly and safely as possible and get on with the rest of their day.  Remember – Driving is a Privilege – Not a Right!

Your Rights Explained:  I know my rights

1. Be ready (Have your Documents in a location that is easily accessible)

We’ll start from the beginning. Just as soon as you see that you are being pulled over, immediately put your turn signal on, slow down and safely come to a stop on the shoulder of the road. If it is dark and you feel unsafe, you can drive slowly to a more lighted area if possible. Once you get your vehicle stopped, put your car in park, turn down your radio, if it’s dark outside, turn on your interior lights and roll your window down so that you can communicate with the Officer. Attitude is key at this point. If the Officer sees that you are going to be hard to deal with, you will most likely have a rough time getting through the traffic stop quickly and in your favor. Officers have a vast arsenal of charges that they can charge you with so tread lightly.

2. Probable cause (Know what you’re being stopped for).

The Officer should tell you why you’ve been pulled over right away. You have a right to know why you were stopped, and officers need a reason to stop you. This is known as probable cause, and it can be for anything, including a license plate light being out or speeding. If the officer fails to tell you why they pulled you over, don’t be afraid to ask; it’s your right to know.

3. You don’t have to say much (But keep your hands visible at all times)!

In a routine traffic stop, you will need to provide your Drivers’ License, Vehicle Registration, Proof of Insurance, and you may have to answer some basic identifying questions.  Many people in North Carolina lawfully carry different types of weapons. You should notify the officer as to the presence of these weapons. For example, if you are a law-abiding gun owner who is carrying during your stop, let the officer know about the presence of your gun. When the officer asks for these documents or items, let him know that you are going to reach for them and state where they are at. This will help put the officer at ease with what you plan to do with your hands. Other than that, you can be as quiet as you want to be. Remember: Staying silent means you can’t incriminate yourself. Essentially if you are pulled over for speeding, tail lights, running a stop sign or some other violation of the vehicle code you are not required to answer unrelated questions.  As a matter of common sense you should be polite to the officer who pulled you over but you are not required to answer questions unrelated to your car (i.e. ‘were you drinking tonight,’ ‘where have you been’ etc.).  You are required to give the officer your license, registration and insurance card. You are not required to give the officer consent to search your vehicle nor are you required to talk with him if you don’t want to.

4. Film away (Record-keeping isn’t a bad idea). 

Relations between the police and certain communities aren’t great right now. For safety and evidence purposes, some Law Enforcement Agencies have started to use body cameras, so there’s a record of virtually every interaction between police and the citizens. But if you want to take matters into your own hands, it’s perfectly legal to film or record a traffic stop, so you have a record of the interaction, especially if you think you might need to dispute something later.

5. An attitude isn’t illegal (There’s no law against this, but we wouldn’t recommend it). 

At the end of the day, police officers are doing a job and want their days to go as smoothly as possible. There’s no law governing etiquette for dealing with an officer, and you can’t be arrested for having a bad attitude. But being difficult won’t do you any favors either. In fact, it’s probably the easiest way to make a tense situation go bad. If you’re being mistreated, fighting fire with fire isn’t going to help you at a traffic stop. “Any level-headed person who gets pulled over does what a police officer tells you, and there won’t be any problems. Whether the cop is wrong, you can hash it out in courts after it’s over.” Comply with all reasonable requests. When stopped, please follow the officer’s instructions. This is not the appropriate time to debate the merits of a traffic stop. Let your attorney handle that in the courtroom.

6. Do not get out of your car (unless instructed to by the Officer).

More often than not, when a police officer asks you to step out of the car, it’s for their own safety. They either want to make sure you don’t have a concealed weapon on you or issue a field sobriety test. Do not exit your vehicle unless the officer tells you to do so. Once again, this is true for passengers as well. Simply remain inside your car until the officer has a chance to speak with you.

7. You can refuse a breathalyzer test (Even exercising this right might land you in jail). 

This one is a double-edged sword. If you’re asked to submit to a breathalyzer test, remember you’re being asked, not ordered. Still, many states have implied consent laws, which mean you automatically consent to the test as soon as you get your license. If you refuse, you can still be arrested and charged with a DUI based on evidence presented by arresting officers. Either way, being in this scenario is a no-win situation.

8. Know where you stand

Most officers want traffic stops to be as quick as possible. But if you’re in a situation where you’ve had your documents returned but you’re still being questioned by the officer, you’re well within your rights to say, “I need to be going. Am I free to go?” If the answer isn’t a clear “yes,” you can ask, “Am I being detained?” If you’re not allowed to leave, it’s time to stop talking and think about getting a lawyer.

9. Don’t allow a search for any reason (Innocent or not, don’t ever do this). 

Sometimes, an officer will nonchalantly ask, “Mind if I take a look in your car?” Innocent or not, do not ever consent to this; no good ever comes of it. The only way an officer can search your car is if you consent, if you have something illegal in plain view, if they’ve already arrested you, if they have probable cause that a crime has immediately been committed, or if there’s danger that evidence from a crime could be immediately destroyed. Other than that, they need a warrant. End of story.

10. Warrants and checkpoints are (mostly) non-negotiable

If you’re driving and come to a police checkpoint, you need to stop and interact with the officers. There really isn’t a lot of wiggle room there. And in the event police have a warrant to search your car, you must let them search. But there is a catch: If they’re looking for a specific object, they only can search areas where that object can fit. If police start searching outside the parameters of the warrant, they’re violating your rights.

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So there you have it – remember this is just a guide and is not meant as Legal Advice – If you feel that you have been discriminated against or treated unfairly, make sure that you report it to someone. Everyone has a boss or someone that they report to – even the Police!

Durham, Charlottesville – Hatred, Racism and YOU

Where do you fit in….

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I woke up Tuesday morning to hear the news of what happened in Durham, NC on Monday after the Charlottesville incident. Some people (white and black – male and female) and a Woman who climbed up a confederate statue, tied a rope around it while others pulled it over off of its’ base and to the ground. Then if that weren’t enough, they kicked it, stomped on it, spit on it and gave it the “finger” as if it were a living thing with feelings – taking pictures and videoing it and cheering like it was a prize bull that the Bullfighter had just conquered – all for what?????

bullfighter

I hear of all this stuff going on around the word but this hit really close to home for me – literally! I’m like 45 minutes form Durham. Really People – this really shows your true character. This type of behavior is totally unacceptable and you all need to grow up. You act as if you are entitled and when you don’t get your way – you throw a stomping little tantrum to bully others into giving in to your cause. The sad part of it is – the majority of the people in this land (America) have become so offended and so afraid of Offending that it is easier to fall into the crowd rather than stand up to the crowd. Everyone wants something for nothing and they all want their 15 minutes of fame – Good, Bad or Indifferent. People have stopped standing up for what is right! They have looked the other way thinking, Whew, glad I didn’t get caught up in that mess.

The national consensus is as divided as it has ever been. We have lost sight of God and our faith is so far recessed that we cannot make clear minded, level headed decisions. We “ACT OUT” instead of using our hearts and minds. What happened to us people? You think that the Government is against us and there is some sort of conspiracy against you.

Everyone likes Sausage but nobody wants to know “HOW” the Sausage is made. We just want the final product to taste good.

Allowed and Rejected

Now as far as the 22 year old Woman who climbed up the statue to help pull it down. This Young Person who was never really directly involved with or impacted by Slavery. She has been arrested and she should be held accountable for her actions. She destroyed something that she really knew nothing about. Just what others have influenced within her. She jumped on “the cause” and she listened to others. Remember, Hitler was a Genius – he was able to get thousands and thousands of people to do his bidding. You think this is just an isolated incident? What about Kim Jong-il, Lenin, Hussein, and Charlie Manson. See the pattern here. These cold-blooded leaders did not care for the value of life as much as they did achieving their own selfish motives of domination, power, and immortality. We are quickly becoming just like them! We all have it in us to do bad things. Scripture says that we are born sinners and that we are by nature sinners.

Holy Bible on wooden table.

Holy Bible on wooden table.

They say that it takes compassion for humanity, love for country; and a strong pursuit of justice and mercy to become a strong and respected leader. President Trump was tasked with a job that no one else could handle any better. Let the man do his job. The job that WE gave him to do. Just because you don’t like his methods doesn’t make him a bad leader. Again, nobody really wants to know “HOW” we make the sausage!

We are all searching for something. We get some answers along the way. We make good and bad decisions – but we haven’t quite found our way yet. That’s the typical exploration of anyone who is on a path to somewhere, but the destination is not in sight yet.

The more I write about this the more I get fired up! (but here’s the difference – I don’t have to stand in the street screaming or pull down statues of Martin Luther King to get my point across).

My roots are as diverse as this country. My father and his side of the family were from Kentucky but my Mother and her family were from Wisconsin. North and South combined and United  – they made a family. We love each other, we disagree with each other, we help each other but we are still a family. We don’t think any less of either side. Now 49 years later, I have family spread all over this country. From North to South and East to West – by Blood and by Marriage – complied of  different Ethnic Groups, black, white and Hispanic. I have roots that extend back from Norwegian, German, American and Sweedish. So what does that make me? I was born and raised in the United States of America and so were my Parents and Grandparents. So I consider myself American. Should I self-identify with my German heritage, should I self-identify with my Norwegian heritage? No – I am American. I’m not African American as a lot of people claim to be, I’m not a Sweedish American nor am I German American. All of these peoples Parents and Grandparents were born here in the US too just like me. We are Americans. We have a duty to God and our Country.

Mark my words – there is coming a day – where there will be another all-out Civil War followed by a true Revolution of sorts. Not just some pissed off people who want something for nothing.

Remember – God won’t Bless No Mess!

Praying

Durham, Charlottesville – Hatred, Racism and YOU…..Part Two

Durham, Charlottesville – Hatred, Racism and YOU…..Part Two

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In the United States of America, we have so many different ethnic groups and by rights, we should embrace our heritage. I understand that the People of Color went through a period of Slavery, yes it was an awful time for their ANCESTORS! From the time I was about 10 years old, I have lived in the South. So by rights I am a Southerner. But does that make me a Racist – does that make me responsible for Slavery? Does that make me hate Black people? No it certainly does not! I choose to respect others, and love all people. And in my faith – as we all stand before The Judgement Seat of Christ – we are all one and the same – His children created in His image who must answer for our own actions – not the actions of our family members.

I have attended Black Churches, White Churches and the Preachers and Pastors all preach the same thing. Now I get it – I am but one person. I cannot and do not speak for all of the White people. But I can tell you this – there is just as many Racists in each Ethnic Group as the other. Skin Heads, Panthers, White Supremacists, Black Live Matter, White Lives Matter, Chicanos, and Latinos,

All People have some sort of Heritage that is associated with them. It should not define us as people. In this part of the world it is Southern Heritage.  Perceptions of the Confederate flag depend upon context. At a national cemetery or national battlefield it is seen in the historical context of the American Civil War. At popular re-enactments of that war’s events, or in films like “Gettysburg” or “Gone With the Wind”, it is seen in a theatrical context. In the television series “The Dukes of Hazzard” the flag on top of Duke boys car has been seen as a symbol of a non-racist Southern spirit by millions of viewers internationally. To those 70 million of us whose ancestors fought for the South, both Black AND White, it is a symbol of our family members who fought for what they thought was right in their time, and whose valor became legendary in military history. This is not nostalgia. It is our legacy. The current attacks on that legacy, 150 years after the event, are to us an insult that mends no fences nor builds any bridges.

confederate flag died for this flag

It is obvious that some racists have appropriated and desecrated the Confederate battle flag for their pathetic causes but we must never lose sight of our Heritage. As Christians we fly the Christian Cross – does that make us Racist? We as Americans fly the American Flag – does that make us Racist? So where does it start and where does it stop – It begins and Ends with You. You and only You can choose to love or hate. You choose to like and dislike, to hear or be heard. You choose to start or Stop. Where do you fit in?

North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper issued a statement Tuesday calling for the removal of more Confederate monuments. He also said that “I don’t pretend to know what it’s like for a person of color to pass by one of these monuments and consider that those memorialized in stone and metal did not value my freedom or humanity,” he said. “Unlike an African-American father, I’ll never have to explain to my daughters why there exists an exalted monument for those who wished to keep her and her ancestors in chains.”

Furthermore, Cooper said that “he will also urge the legislature to defeat a bill that grants immunity from liability to motorists who strike protesters”. Really?? What the Hell are you thinking Roy Cooper? I mean that is a BS way of copping out. Talk about Not Standing up for what is Right. You are supposed to be our States Leader. Enforce the enforceable, defend what is right. Clearly, what these people are doing and have done is illegal. They should be arrested, charged and held responsible for their actions. Instead of bowing down and trying to be popular so that you may win another election, take the high road, do the right thing and do your job. These people need to realize that there should be a time in their life that they have to grow up. Realize we are not who we were 100 years ago and that the people of today have learned a thing or two over the years. I’m sorry if you are offended that I don’t like you – but wait – you don’t like me either – it’s just a fact of life. Get over it and get on with it! Try to rush my vehicle and beat me out of it and watch what happens – you will get run over. I’m not going to stop my car, let you break my windows and pull me out, beating me to near death – and neither would you Mr. Cooper! Our Government needs to quit being an “Enabler”.

Racism exists in every Ethnic Group in the USA. Red, Yellow, Black, Brown and White. It is not just something White people or Black people do. Sadly it is something that unites us. We share this in common. But again, shave off all of our skins and see if you can tell the difference.

Ok, so now if you have read all of my last two posts, I’m sure that you have already formed your own views and opinions about me – you probably think that I’m a racist, a hater, an activist. Well you would be sorely mistaken. I love Black People, I have Black people in my family. I love Mexican People, I have Mexican people in my family. I love White people, I am white. I love me and I love you! So what? If you peel off your skin and peel off my skin – we are just the same! We are people – we are the Human Race!

It is 2017 – don’t you think it’s time we all grow up and learn to get along. Yes we all have different views and opinions but this is exactly what Martin Luther King once preached about. Equality, Love, Understanding and Forgiveness. God Bless the USA and God Bless its People!….. which hey – includes YOU!

Peace Love and Understanding

God vs. Aliens

Something we all need to think about!!!!!

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I’ve been really puzzled by a recent theme here lately.

No, not our culture’s questionable obsession with unicorns, or the fact that our White House is turning over faster than a round of tequila shots on Cinco de Mayo.

I’m confused about society’s recent preoccupation with….aliens.

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And if you think that was out of left field, well, so did I.

I mean, I feel like in the last year, we’ve just collectively, as a society, adopted this fixation with aliens! – Just scroll through the Netflix Options, and I swear – 1/3 of the shows have to do with aliens! Stranger Things, Alien Invasion, The X Files, Continuum, Signs, I mean, the list goes on and on.

This stuff is crazy – Tall Greys, Reptilians, The Andromedan – I mean, I did one Google search after listening to a podcast, and daaaang there’s a lot of wild stuff out there.

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The New Bed

The New Bed

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Ever since I got out of Law Enforcement in 2005, I have made it my goal to always be there for my children and I can brag a bit and say that I have accomplished just that. Every time they want or need, I am there for them. I am involved in their lives on a daily basis and I wouldn’t want it any other way. At the end of the day, I don’t have to ask myself, “I wonder what my kids have been up to”. I have long said that, “If you want to know what your kids are doing, get involved”. After all, it is YOUR job to raise them – not someone else’s. They cannot be left to figure life out on their own without some sort of guidance.

When I was in Law Enforcement, I worked a lot and was gone most of the time and I missed my oldest son growing up.  I know – I know, my fault and my choice, not someone else’s! I was young and life was all about me at the time. I missed ball games, school functions, family dinners, yeah I was a real looser as a parent and a husband – But I was great at my Job. I think that was the only thing that I took seriously back then. Late nights, Badge Bunnies, loneliness and a desire to feel more and more love and companionship overwhelmed me and after 15 years of working, being gone and fighting with my wife, we divorced soon thereafter and parted ways – What I didn’t expect was to lose my son in the process. I made this bed and now I had to lay in it.

I remarried shortly after when I found my Sandy – Sandy was just what I needed to teach me what life, love and family was all about. She had me – hook, line and sinker from the get-go and it seemed as if I had no control as to how far and how fast our relationship progressed. We were destined to be together and nothing was going to stop us. We even tried calling it off a couple of times in the beginning but that never worked out. We just couldn’t walk away from each other and our love seemed to be on fire from the very start. From the very start – I knew I wanted that kind of life and I knew that I had a lot of repairing and changing to do within myself – and my son. Then we had Ivy and my life changed dramatically!

Ivyxoxo

To date for the past 14 years, I have been there – I have been to every one of my daughters Softball games and Volleyball games and even helped coach some. I pick her up from school, I ask her each day how her day was and I tell her that I love her more than 20 times a day it seems.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love my boys! I am just as involved with them and they know that I love them but there is something about that little girl and the way she says “I love you Daddy” that just makes me turn into Jell-O. She has me that’s for sure and she knows it too. Good, bad or indifferent, she has me and being the baby (just as I was), seems to get her a free pass on some things or at least more leniency. It drives my boys and my wife crazy. I know I spoil her but she doesn’t act like an “entitled little brat” either. She knows her limitations and just how far to push.

Ivy1

So I have said all that to set the stage for my story – Yesterday, my 13 year old “little girl” – asked me to design and build her a new adult sized loft bed. You know the kind with a couch or seating area underneath.  Something a little more sophisticated for a growing young woman. WAIT – WHAT – MY Little Girl is Growing Up???  My heart kinda swelled and then broke a little at the same time. Of course I was honored when she asked me to build her a new loft bed and I have always been handy when it comes to working with wood, in fact, it is my hobby and I love to build things.

builder

So I spent the latter part of last night looking up loft bed plans and trying to design a suitable living/sleeping area for my daughter – something that would reflect the love that I have for her and the pleasure that I felt in being able to make her something that she would enjoy and be proud of. My mind is racing at the prospects and I am still looking for that perfect plan but I will be starting this project soon. I can’t wait to see the look on her face when I get it all set up. I think I am more excited than she is.